


Change

by paperjamBipper



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottled up emotions, Fear of Abandonment, Gen, Growing Up, Happy Ending, Heart-to-Heart, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22058017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperjamBipper/pseuds/paperjamBipper
Summary: Steven needs to talk to somebody, and he's quickly realizing that he's running out of options.  Takes place Post-Little Graduation
Relationships: Blue Diamond & Spinel & White Diamond & Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Spinel & Steven Universe, Steven Universe & Everyone
Comments: 11
Kudos: 202
Collections: Steven Universe Completed Recommended Reads





	Change

_You’ve reached Connie Maheswaran, leave a message!_

_Beep._

…

_You’ve reached Connie-_

_Beep._

_...._

_You’ve reached Connie Maheswaran, leave a message!_

“Hey, Connie” Steven murmurs, leaning back against the hood of the Dondai. “I guess I probably should leave a message. I just wanted to talk. It’s nothing serious,” he lies through his teeth, “I just...wanted to talk to you. It’s been a while, and I, uh, just wanted to see how things were going. Call me when you can. Don’t mind all the missed calls. I’m fine.” He pauses for a moment, gazing up at the twinkling stars. “I love you.” 

_Beep._

Steven clicks his phone off, and places his phone face down on his chest. He rests his hands behind his head and contemplates what he could possibly do now. 

Connie was his _only_ resort. Lars already left, he can’t talk to Sadie after that embarrassing fiasco at the graduation ceremony, his poor dad’s already been through _enough_ with Bluebird, and the gems wouldn’t understand. If he went to them he’s _sure_ they’d just pat him on the head and try to tell him how proud they are, or try to offer some sort of advice of how to _fix it._ Yeah, well, this time he _can’t_ fix it. Maybe he doesn’t even _want_ to fix it.

Who else _is_ there to go to? If he can’t worry his dad or Connie, and the gems won’t be any help, where else could he go for help? It’s not like he can go to the barn anymore, since it got merged with Little Homeworld.

_Actual Homeworld?_ Now there’s a thought. The Diamonds would _love_ to have him, sure, but what help would _they_ be? If Blue finds out that he’s feeling sad then _she’s_ just going to start crying, and then _everyone else_ on Homeworld is going to start crying, Yellow’s probably just going to try to “solve” everything with violence, and White’s probably going to turn it into another excuse to bring up the offer to live on Homeworld again. It’s a miracle Spinel survived living in the palace with them for more than ten minutes.

_Wait a minute._

“ _Spinel!”_ Steven thinks out loud. “Spinel would understand!”

He slides off the car’s hood and climbs into the driver’s seat. He starts the car, ejects Shep’s cassette tape before it can start playing, and makes his way back to Beach City. It’s ironic, really. One moment he’s singing praises about the wonders of change to Spinel, and the next he’s going to her because he can’t cope with change himself. He might as well warp in raising a huge white flag over his head. 

The lights are on in the house when his car pulls up, but word must’ve gotten around that the graduation after party was cancelled without him needing to say it, because there’s no other cars on the beach or any music coming from the house. That’s good. The less people home, the easier it’ll be to sneak out.

“Hey buddy,” Amethyst waves hello from the couch as he comes in, seated in the middle beside Garnet and Pearl. “Nobody saw where you went after the ceremony, you okay? You...want anything to eat?” 

Steven shakes his head as he hangs his jacket up on a hook. “I filled up on cake, thanks”

Pearl’s the next to speak up. “Would you like some tea? I know how tiring planning these things can be”

“No thanks” Steven replies, and fakes a yawn, stretching his arms above his head. “I think I’m just going to try getting some sleep. I’ll see you guys in the morning”. Without waiting for them to reply, he begins heading up the stairs towards his room, until he’s stopped halfway by the sound of Garnet calling his name. He freezes up. _Oh no, did I get caught? Is she going to make me stay? Is she going to make me talk to her instead?_

He turns to her, expecting to see her with her visor removed and ready to give him a long, powerful speech about family always being there for you, or something. But she’s not. She’s just standing there, one hand on the railing of the stairs. She’s looking at him, but her visor renders her expression unreadable. 

“Have a good night, Steven” she says, and nods very subtly at him. The gesture makes him smile, and he disappears up the stairs. He opens the door to his balcony as quietly as he can, and sneaks into the dome without closing the door behind him to make as little noise as he possibly can. He tentatively steps onto the warp pad, takes a deep breath, and warps away to Homeworld. Now all he needs to do is try to find a way to get Spinel away from the diamonds long enough to talk to her alone without them noticing. 

Not that they’d even mind, anyway, but Steven always has to take things the hard way, doesn’t he. He materializes into the palace, and before he has even a fraction of a second to look around- 

“Well, well, well!” Spinel shouts from Pink’s old throne. “Look what the warp pad dragged in!” She stretches her legs into springs, and projects herself off of the headrest to land beside him. “Mister Savior of the Universe himself!” 

“Hi Spinel”

“What are ya doin’ here? This some top secret diamond meeting I don’t know about? I can go grab ‘em for ya” She’s about to leave, but Steven grabs her by the wrist before she can so as much take a single step away. 

“N-no, Spinel, that won’t be necessary. I’m here to see you.”

She blinks, and turns to look around her to make sure there’s nobody else in the room. “Me?” 

Steven nods. “Yes, you.”

Her expression changes from a blank stare to a face-splitting grin between one blink and another. “Well, why didn’t ya say so!” She snaps her fingers, and winds an arm around him and uses her other to spring them onto White’s throne. “What brings you out to see lil’ ol me? Didja miss me or something?” 

Steven frowns. “I’m not here to play games, Spinel”

“Oh.” Her arm holding Steven in place deflates, and she sits down, dangling her legs over the edge. “Then what do you need me for?” She raises an eyebrow at him. “It doesn’t have anything to do with another injector, does it? Because it’s not mine this time”

Steven sighs, and sits down on White’s throne as well. “I just...wanted to talk” 

“Oh, well, then I’m all ears!” She stretches her hand into a megaphone and places it against the side of her head where her ear would be. “What’s on yer mind?” 

Steven twiddles with his thumbs and kicks his feet back and forth. “Everything”. 

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that, Universe”

“I’m being serious!” he throws his arms into the air. “Everything! Everything is happening so quickly! I _just_ got Lars back, we’ve _barely_ had any time to talk since I’ve been running the school, and now he’s leaving _again,_ Sadie and the Suspects broke up, Connie’s thinking about applying to a college halfway across the country, and I’m _really_ proud of her and wish her nothing but the best because she deserves the best, but I _miss_ her, I miss talking to her, I miss going on dates with her, but she’s so busy studying that I’ve been seeing less and less of her since fall, and don’t even get me _started_ on the gems, they think they know _everything_ about me just because they’ve raised me my entire life, but-”

He’s suddenly cut off by the sound of Spinel laughing hysterically. Steven blushes heavily, and turns to her to see her wiping tears from her eyes. 

“ _Wow,”_ she bellows, barely trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. “Talk about _irony”_

“Huh? What’s so funny?” Steven’s voice squeaks in embarrassment.

“You.” She replies, wiping tears from her eyes. “You sang this big inspirational number to me about changing for good this, and change is for the best that, and all that talk about how you need to embrace the bad change before you can earn the good, and now _you’re_ coming to _me_ about it?” 

Steven blinks. “I...don’t think I ever said that last part”

“Eh, you implied it” Spinel shrugs. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you’ve been through all of this dramatic change before and came out of it just fine, why is this any different?” 

Well that’s a pretty stupid question. “Didn’t you hear anything I said?” Steven scoffs. “It’s different because all of my friends are changing. They’re all moving on with their lives. I don’t have that option”

Spinel shrugs. “Well, why don’t you?” 

“Why don’t I what?”

“Why don’t you have that option?”

Steven blinks. “I don’t follow”. 

Spinel snorts. “You’re the one who told me that nobody could change how I felt except me, right? By that very same logic you told _me,_ isn’t that true about you? Nobody can change how _you_ feel either, Universe. If everyone is moving too fast for you, it isn’t up to _them_ to tell you what pace you should be moving at. It’s not up to _them_ how you work through your feelings about processing all this stuff”. 

“That...doesn’t seem like very sound advice coming from someone who tried to ‘process’ her feelings by trying to kill the earth”

“That’s not my point! My point is that I came to my senses on my _own terms._ I burnt myself out on anger and _then_ I let myself begin to move on. If I’d forced myself to move on _earlier,_ I neva’ would’ve stopped being angry. I coulda’ taken it out on the diamonds if I wasn’t careful.” She snorts, and takes a small step closer to him and places a hand on his shoulder. “The point is that I know betta than most what it feels like when everyone’s moving on without ya. S’matter of fact, I probably know betta than _everyone_ what that’s like. And I also know that if you don’t take things at your own pace, or if you just leave things the way are, you’ll end up in a much worse place. If I’d left things be, I’d still be stuck in that gemforsaken garden, and if I hadn’t burnt myself out and let the planet die, I’d just be stuck on a dead Earth. If ya keep forcing yourself to change to keep up with your friends, you’re just gonna end up stuck somewhere too”. 

...She _does_ have a point, but…

“What about my friends? I’m just supposed to...let them go? I just have to sit around and watch them move on without me?” 

“Well, have they let _you_ go yet?”

“What do you mean? Lars just left for space the other day.”

Spinel shakes her head. “I mean, your friends who are leaving, did they say goodbye? Did they let you know they were leaving?” 

“Well, yeah, but-” 

“Then they haven’t left you behind. Pink never said goodbye to me, Steven. She never told me where she was going. This Lars person, whoever he is, telling you he’s going to space, that’s more than Pink ever told me about Earth. I may not know as much as I think I do about friendship, Steven, but friends come back. Look at you,” she gestures vaguely towards him with a hand. “I left with the diamonds seemingly “forever”, and you still came back.” She smirks. “And I’m guessing this Connie girl was the one I saw talking to you on Earth? She couldn’t keep her hands off of you, Universe, I wouldn’t worry about her _ever_ leaving you behind, even if she does move halfway across the galaxy or whatever it was you said to me”.

Steven blushes. “Country”, he corrects. 

“Whatever. Point is, Universe, if your friends really are your friends, then they won’t leave you behind when they go through some big exciting change. They’ll take you with them, even if it’s only in spirit” 

Steven snorts. “And since when are you such an expert on friendship?” 

Spinel smiles upon catching onto the playful nature of his tone, and reaches into her pocket and pulls out a diamond communication device. She smiles at it, fiddling with it in her hands. “As much as you say they’re hard to get along with, my time with the diamonds really has given me a new perspective on friendship.” She offers the communication device out to him, and he takes it from her. “They gave this to me when we got back from Earth. They told me that if I ever got lonely all I’d need to do was twist this device in my hands and they’d be there for me, no matter where they were in the galaxy.” 

She takes it back from him. “They taught me to love again, Steven. They taught me that if someone loves you, they aren’t going to run out on you. If they’re going too fast for you, they’ll slow down and wait for you to catch up so they can walk beside you”. 

Steven laughs. “I’m starting to think they taught you more than I know, Spinel” 

She laughs. “Me? More knowledgeable than Steven Universe, best friend of the galaxy?” She brings a hand to her gem. “I’m honored”. 

Steven laughs again, but before he can say anything else, his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He pulls it out, and Spinel stretches her head over his shoulder to read the caller I.D. on the screen. 

_Connie._

“See? What’d I tell ya?” she grins at him, and gives him thumbs up. He rolls his eyes at her, and leaps from White’s throne and gently floats to the ground so he can have a bit more privacy. 

“Hello?”

“ _Steven?”_ Connie’s panicked voice replies. “ _Are you okay? I’m so sorry I missed your calls, I was going to call back as soon as I finished studying for the night, and then my parents took me out for a movie and I forgot, and-”_

Steven chuckles. “Woah, whoa, Connie. It’s okay. Everything’s okay” he says, and begins to head towards the warp pad to go back home where the reception is decidedly better. Just as he’s about to warp back out, he turns around to face White’s throne one last time. Spinel, still standing where she had been moments ago, stretches an arm into the air to wave goodbye. 

“Actually,” Steven admits as the warp stream begins to encompass him. “Everything’s not okay.” 


End file.
